Me…anxiety. I have ownership.

The mental load I’m carrying is sometimes so heavy that I have a huge level of anxiety that hits me and sits on my chest like a heavy ball spinning fast around and pressing down on my lungs and heart and I feel like I cannot breathe.

I thought about anxiety the other day ahead of mental health awareness week. Anxiety hits us all in various ways. Anxiety is a fight or flight response. It is a feeling that doesn’t last forever like all other feelings such as sadness, happiness, frustration and so on. We all have anxiety. The definition of anxiety is an emotion characterised by feelings of tension, worried thoughts, and physical changes like increased blood pressure. We have all experienced at some point in our lives a situation which caused us to want run away or hit out!

So what happens when that feeling hits us? What do we do? Whose responsibility is it to handle that feeling? Well...it’s our own responsibility… when that feeling hits me it is MY feeling and MY responsibility. No one else’s but MINE.

So I start to breathe slowly, focus on my breath, my thoughts and my feelings. I mentally imagine that I talk to that ball of anxiety and say “hi anxiety! I see you! I know you are there and thank you for showing yourself and right now I need to breathe and take one thing at a time”. This works for me along with healthy eating, exercise, and my hobbies like horse riding. Anxiety hits us all for different reasons and although we own it ourselves it doesn’t mean we are on our own with it! This is where support comes in.

Opening up about the anxiety and the worries of life and sharing them will immediately help to reduce it. Everyone needs support. Speak to colleagues, friends and family and explain how you feel. That doesn’t mean they have to fix anything. Just share it. They can help to check in. And if you are that person, that someone who is listening, then listen with intent. Actively hear what the person is telling you. Ask open questions like: “how is this making you feel”, “what do you feel is right for you to do now”, “what can I do to help you right now”. You might not be able to help, but I can guarantee you that the ball of anxiety will reduce slightly for the person in front of you. And if you are the one with the ball of anxiety inside you; then don’t expect anyone to fix it. Just let them listen and make sure you put in place practical solutions to help yourself.

Here’s one thing you can do:

Place your hand on the place on your body where you feel the anxiety is heaviest. 
Then close your eyes, breathe in for 4 seconds 1,2,3,4…
Then slowly breathe out for 7 seconds 1,2,3,4,5,6,7. 
Keep doing this until your breathing has completely slowed down.
Take as long as you need.
Then open your eyes and say out loud; “you’ve got this! “

Anxiety is a natural feeling and response. Feel it, recognise it and deal with it.